Saturday, June 1, 2013

A short story of weight.

I've been weight conscious for a good part of my life. I was an overweight child. I have stretch marks from early adolescence, and I have done weight watchers more than I can count. My father is overweight, and my mother is a healthy eater. When I was in eighth grade, I weighed 200 lbs. And, I decided on my own that I was going to learn how to be healthy. I have learned a great deal about my body, about gaining and losing weight, and I also know that my weight is a forever journey of ups and downs.

I don't know what my ideal weight is. I have liked my body when I felt healthiest. Right now, I feel healthy. And, I just weighed myself for the first time in 8 months. And, How do I put this? It wasn't what I expected. I still feel great. But, I'm heavier than what I think I am. I'm less than I weighed when I went to the doctor 8 months ago, and I looked at the scale. We don't own a scale.  I weigh the same amount as my husband. How's that for a comparison? Now, Adam is tall and has a great metabolism. I'm active and eat healthy, but I'm a woman- I have curves, I have muscle, and I'm pretty darn strong. I can carry a 30 lbs. baby on my back for a good long time. But, I'm not a skinny girl, and I like food. I enjoy eating... I have a good relationship with food in that I don't overeat. I enjoy good flavors. I love fruit and veggies more than meat. And, fish is my favorite thing on this earth. So, what gives??

I know genetics are something that people excuse themselves with, but I don't. I have lost weight where I was thin. 120 lbs thin. I was eating soy and I was eating enough to give me energy to get by. But, now, I have a child. I get emotionally tired. I burn lots of calories, and I'm happy. Weight doesn't define happiness, or does it?

I think that everyone should be different. The skinny jean style that we're in right now, I can handle. It's not my favorite, but I wear my skinny jeans. And, I am curvy. That's okay. I feel good. I have a couple of places  where I wish things looked a little different-- and maybe it will change.

Yet, this is my body. I earned it. I lost 80 pounds once.I gained 65 pounds when I had my little baby girl. I lost that again. I workout. I run. I hike. I bike. I  play. I drink water. I eat fruit and veggies. I feel like we should own our bodies and their imperfections. Be it known, that yes, I have stretchmarks, and I didn't get them from my pregnancy with my child. I have flab under my arms that I am constantly working on. It's a process. But, a body is a tool-- it's a organ. It needs love and protection. NO MATTER WHAT! Nurture it- spend time loving it by drinking water and getting enough sleep. Exercise or hike or what ever you want to do to get those endorphines going!

Hey, our bodies are our bodies, and they aren't perfect. Mine isn't at all- I have scars and battlewounds, and I had a baby, but I love my body--- even if I'm not skinny. I'm me and I love me (faults and all.)


Beka said...

great post ! You're beautiful! totally agree that as long as you feel healthy and feel your best it doesn't really matter if we have curves or a little extra here and there.taking care of yourself and feeding yourself properly and not depriving your body of what it needs is such a horrible way of trying to lose weight that way too many people do. I weigh a lot more then most people can guess but I am happy with my body and it is strong. It carries me a lot of miles racing and running and gets me through workouts that I do and I can't ask anymore of it! I don't own a scale either, I tend to just go by how my pants fit.

Jessica Zelenko said...

Your body is enabling your beautiful adventures! Happy to hear you are giving it some love!