34 Weeks

Oh boy. I'm so uncomfortable. I eat... I'm uncomfortable. I sleep- uncomfortable. I sit- uncomfortable. It's 3 am now, and I can't sleep.

Even though I can't sleep, I am watching our first winter snow fall in St. Louis. And, I miss the snow from Wyoming. It's so beautiful. It just falls so quietly and morphs all the dark, dingy roads and roofs to brilliant white. My baby and I have just shared our first snow. And, even though he/she isn't outside... the stillness I feel is awe-inspiring.

I have 6 weeks left. Adam and I are getting excited talking about our family and the new changes that we're going to see. I'm so thankful for him. He's going to be such an amazing father, and be so loving to his child. Keeping me going is not knowing the gender. Either way, we will be so thrilled- but, it's like the light at the end of the tunnel. It definitely gives me something to look forward. Boy or Girl, we'll love 'em so very much.

I'm going to make my first purchases for "little one" today. I need a crib sheet and some onesies. We have one other purchase-- the car seat! Can't get the little one home without it.

So, Christmas is coming... I do love Christmas. It's our first married christmas, and I'm pregnant. That's a pretty wonderful gift, if you ask me. And, yes, it's been a tumultuous journey, but I know it will be worth it.

On to other things... Our house is just becoming more and more lovely. We have a fire most days to keep us warm. And, I think I have been nesting- washing walls, curtains, sheets, and dusting. We have so much to be thankful. We are happily behind the times, and we have such sweet moments. I am so in love with my husband and my child-- and our life. It's modest but happy.

Aw, Go On and Get All Domestic

Thinking is something I have been doing. Sometimes that is enough to get me into trouble. I think too much and over-analyze, and then where are am I? Probably worse off than I was before.... This isn't the point, though.

I appreciate my journey thus far. College was such a weird surreal experience. I didn't learn where I was most comfortable until my senior year of that 4 year blip in my life. I made my little private dorm room my own. I started cooking in our bare minimum kitchen. I remember making vegetable cream cheese for my bagels, and my first pot roast on my own. I enjoyed the process. I bought my first teapot (We still use now), and I tried my best to stop using the microwave. By the time graduation came, I was eating so very healthy-- learning alternative dishes from my vegetarian roommate. They were super flavorful and delicious.

My bedroom was my work space and my safe spot. I had the things I love surround me and remind me of the beautiful world and works around me. And, now I see how those practices that I learned that last year of college stuck.

I moved to Wyoming-- packed all my personal belongings in the back of my car and left.

I lived again in a shared dorm room. I moved from there to a shared loft (even less privacy.) After nearly a year more of this community living, I finally shared an apartment with my future-to-be husband. We lived there about 6 months. And, even though I had my safe spot-- I knew it was to change again soon. My mantra for a short time was, "Don't get too comfortable, cause once I do, I know it'll change." And, it did.

Memphis was my destination for about 3 months before leaving for a new adventure in Chile... Guess how many times I moved while I lived there? 4 times. 4 times in 3 months. Yeah, that was fun.

I moved to Chile... and back to the states 6 weeks later. That was even more fun.

Then, I found a 104 year old Century home in Dogtown, St. Louis, Missouri. It's delightful. It's home, and I have so much fun cooking, playing, gardening, creating, and cleaning. It's home. And, yes, I will go on and get all domestic.

Holidays, Birthday, and Another Week

This post I'm going to have to start today and go backward.

Today I hit 33 weeks! I'm feeling really good lately... getting a little uncomfortable, but I'm still just plugging along. The gender is still a surprise, and it's getting harder to wait to find out. I have no idea if it is a boy or a girl. We went to the doctor, November 30, and we're still doing good.

Happy Birthday to me! I turned 26 yesterday! We celebrated by eating Thai food at Pho Grand. We also had ice cream at home and lounged after dinner. It was so sweet. My husband gave me a sweet card that made me cry- and a few other gifts, but he, alone, made my day special. I wouldn't want to have spent it with any other person than him.

The work week was pretty uninteresting, but Thanksgiving was great. We went to Tennessee-- picked up a whole bunch of stuff for 'baby', and hung out with my whole family. It was a pleasure to see my family and, also, a pleasure to return back home. We got the crib set up, the chifforobe ready for onezies, and we need just a few more items.

Lastly, we're prepping for CHRISTMAS! Pictures of our tree soon. Happy Holidays all!

30 weeks, Baby!

I saw a good friend of mine yesterday! Jordan came to St. Louis from her hometown of Cape Girardeau, Missouri. We met in Wyoming the summer that I moved cross-country and worked at Signal Mountain Lodge. After all our adventures, we're here in St. Louis, Missouri hanging out. We had a nice visit. Our lives are so different now. She's off again back to the wonderful wyoming wonderland, and we're having a baby!!

So, I hit the 30 week mark yesterday. The baby and I went to the doctor on Thursday, and everything is good! Glucose level is really good. Iron is good too. I only gained .5 lbs in 2 weeks, and we're up to 32 pounds. Our goal is to do that every 2 weeks now. I don't know how well that is going to go with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up.

Speaking of which, I am so excited about Thanksgiving. I get to see my family. And, we're picking up the crib and high chair. I am thrilled because it's been a while since I've seen my family, and I start to miss them.

Lastly, we finished our baby classes. It was informational, but I am guessing this is one of those things you have to experience before you know what it's like. Truthfully, I am scared. I have faith that all will go well, and we'll have a healthy baby come that special day. As for right now, I am enjoying spending time with Adam-- just us.

A Sweet Memory

We've been busy! October 14-16, 2010 Adam, Noah, and I spent 3 nights in Ozark, Arkansas under the harvest moon. We played in the sunshine and listened to amazing music from groups like Yonder Mountain String Band, Leftover Salmon, Brett Dennen, Infamous Stringdusters, 1 oz jig, and Keller Williams. The weekend was just so wonderful. Lucky for us, it didn't end there either.

With fall in St. Louis, Twilight Tuesday is free music in the park, and the last event of the season was Tuesday after we returned home. Wednesday, we went to see a special musical group at the Sheldon next to the Fabulous Fox Theatre. Thursday we started our baby classes... the sign that the time is coming soon that we will meet our baby. Invited to an Art Gala in St. Charles, Missouri, we crossed the Missouri Ocean, and saw several Baseball hall of fame members commemorate special sports artists that document their lives. It was a magical week. I spent it nearly stress-free with lovely husband.

Sunday: My dearest and I visited Forest Park for a walk. The leaves are changing yellows, oranges, fire reds, and soon I know that winter will be here. We carved pumpkins, and they are festive.

During these events, I remembered a sweet time in Chile that I wanted to write down. Adam and I were in Pichilemu. We'd taken a carriage ride into town from our cabana to go eat dinner. Before we caught our ride, we prepared wood for a fire on the beach underneath the stars. we hit the town, and sadly, I don't remember the meal we ate or what the surroundings were like. I remember Adam confiding in me with his thoughts and feelings and memories. I remember feeling so elated and overwhelmed with happiness because I was that special someone. Each time I think of this night, it returns to me that it was Valentine's Day, and without gifts for one another, my future husband gave me the moon, the stars, the ocean, all at once. If he could have lassoed the moon, he would've. That moment in my life is irreplaceable and unmatched. What's more beautiful is the fact that as simple as that moment was, it is the essence of life. The essence of my life.

The big 2-5

Saturday is my favorite day of the week. I have no impending dread of the next day, and I have the entire weekend to spend as I choose. I'm so thankful for that today.

This weekend is particularly special. Not really, but I am 25 years old. 25

and 25 weeks along. My mom was 25 when she became pregnant with me, and 26 when she had me. The same as me. This week (24) has been particularly difficult for me. I wore myself a little too thin probably did too much, and I'm just exhausted. We're deciding on purchasing a house... very stressful. I'm spent over it. I can't make a decision about it-- do I want it... do I not? We're going to be broke after we buy it. I'm going to release my mind from it this weekend. They can't eat me, they can't kill me, and they can't harass me. I'm going to let it be.

I also threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law, and it was beautiful. It was a challenge, though, for me. It was so nice and we had great weather for it too. I made all the food; I decorated; I cleaned; I love it.

I will try to add more photos of the tea party table too... It stepped straight out of an Antropology magazine-- lace and tissue paper, white and light... It is totally unique.

My husband was sweet enough to help me- and I received sweet notes for the hard work that we put into it. It's nice to be appreciated.

Half. Way. Mark.

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. I've thrown up... a lot. I've slept... alot. And, I've had some moody, crying, hormonal spells. I will not say that these have been the high points in the pregnancy. But, I will tell you that sharing the ultrasounds and having Adam notice my changing body for good have been very sweet and rewarding.

I've been very happy with our situation, although, maybe in comparison to others, it's not what they would do. We live modestly and very simply. We live a virtuous life.

We have a small, cute, clean apartment with plenty of room to make our little changing life work. We save our money... we won't be buying state of the art cribs or brand name clothes that the baby will grow out of in a few months. It's the fact that my husband and I will love our child... we will love each other, and we will provide the necessities and lovely toys for years to come. My husband and I will shape a life that will understand love... the greatest motivator and joy in the the whole world.

May 21, 2010

I found out that I was pregnant on this date. Boy... what a surprise! My husband was estatic, and I well, was just a mess. I had alittle time to adjust and to realize that this is what I always wanted, and now, I have a family... not a broken one.

I am today, 15 weeks, and I am sharing our news with the world

. We have had 2 ultrasounds, and our baby is growing so fast in my belly. I am getting bigger, and the baby is too.

the one following is my favorite: Look at that spine and back of the head..... love it!

There's our 13 week ultrasound pictures..... they are wonderful.

Photos from Paris

Catching up

I've been working and sleeping lately. I guess it goes like that.

I figure I should

catch up just a little bit bef

ore I share our next piece of news.

We went on our honeymoon....

This is in Amsterdam... in the Dam Square.

We walked this city... saw The Museum Van Gogh.

Ate wine and cheese in Vonderpark....

Saw Yonder Mountain String Band play at the Melkweg Event Area. here's a few more photos of Amsterdam.

Next Paris! What I had been so excited about since arrival! I loved it.

Mr. And Mrs. Lenz

Hi all! We're officially a couple!

We're married... all legal! We might as well have just already been married, but we have finally arrived.

So, The day was just perfect. Memphis weather... no rain! It was nice, comfortably cool, sunny afternoon. Our vows and our ceremony were perfect. We had baked pasta and wine... and everyone was merry.

We had a brunch at Beverly's house and had all the family there. It was wonderful! Popovers with Strawberry butter, breakfast casserole, and cheddar grits! YUM! We hopped on a plane and headed over the ocean once more... Amsterdam, Holland. Holla!

This week

We're about to take the big plunge... well, that's what some call it. I would like to call it a shared expression of our own personal bliss that we experience daily. It's our life. It's our relationship. Now, it's our marriage. We're getting married on Saturday, the first day of Spring. I'm just thrilled.
Yesterday was our last day of our premarital counseling. We passed. Our officianto, father, father-in--law is to marry us, and I have a big feeling that there's not going to be a dry eye in the place. I know that I'm working on my vows, but seems like there's not always words to describe our feelings to one another.
Yesterday was Sunday morning. We have a great weekend. We've kinda started celebrating already and we invited Louie and an uncle of Adams over for dinner on Saturday night. I cooked dinner, and Adam and I cleaned the house. (It desperately needed it, and I felt so proud of our home.) Louie's been living in Chile for 3 years without a visit home, and he was glad to be here with us. I made filet's marinated in worchester, onions, spices, oil, water and bay leaves. I broiled it in the oven for about 30 minutes (flipped once.) Served with Italian spinach (an elegant taste) and roasted parsnips. Incredible! We went and listened to Jake's Leg at Llewyellns' Pub in Webster Groves and danced our butts off. It was great. We saw a couple there that just got married that day, and we congratulated them.
We made it home pretty late, and I went to bed. Sunday Funday! I woke up and my future husband just looked over at me and said, " I turned over and I am so glad that you're here next to me." I lost it. I am so fortunant to be loved, and to be loved whole-heartedly.
We have a love that is bigger than the both of us, and we share it with everyone we contact. I read this little Mother Teresa writing, and I felt moved by it- I shared it with Adam because this encompasses his life:
"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your husband or wife, to a next door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. Kindness in your warm greeting." - Mother Teresa
I am a witness to his life and his love. I am his woman. He's mine.
It's a happy time in our life, and I am soaking it up.
Here's to the last week of being "single." Ciao!

3 weeks

20 days until I am Mrs. Adam Ryan Lenz. We've been planning our wedding and our future. We had an epiphany at our marriage counseling session about a week ago-- "If people spent as much energy in their marriage as the spent in planning their wedding, there wouldn't be any marital strife." Adam and I have had some real eye openers in our counseling. We know each other pretty well already. Thanks to almost 3 years together and 2 years living together. We're compatible, I'd say.
We've been in the counseling now since January 14. We've been dedicated to learning and openly listening to our mentors. Adam's Dad is our counselor, and our officator. He's our lifeline. The only way he would marry us is if we did counseling. We agreed whole-heartedly. So, Every Sunday we fellowship and learn. We take tests and answer questions regarding our tie. We learn that our relationship is healthy and honest.
We even had to write a mission statement. We did eloquently. I'm not going to share that here, but I am sure our counselor has big plans for this.

As of now, the boutoneirres are made. The invites are finished, mailed, and received. We're attending a bridal shower in Somerville this coming weekend. We've got pinwheels to make. And, I've got to find my perfect ring for Adam. This time is counting down.....

Linens came in last week- And, recipes are finalizing. Snickerdoodle cupcakes with 7minute frosting! Baked Pasta with Salad; french bread; and Antipasta!
My dress and accoutrements are to a T. Everything is falling in order. I'm getting excited, but I am more excited about being the wife to a good man.
All's well--- Honeymoon and vacation for 2 full weeks in the lovely Amsterdam and Paris.

All who Yonder, are not lost.

What a weekend! Adam and I saw a very special music group that we love called Yonder Mountain String Band. It was incredible. The group was here Friday and Saturday night, and I begged to go to both nights. So, we did.

Before I continue though, I want to explain that this group is special to Adam and I. We saw them at Grand Targhee Resort in Alta, Wyoming for our first date. It was magical. I love Yonder, and then I get to know my love right there under the stars and in the mountains that eve. From then on, everything was different. Yonder set the atmosphere for the start of our relationship, and they bring that special feeling right back every time we see or hear them. Glorious grass sound.

So, We went both nights. They played two completely different sets. The 2nd night was the very best though, and I learned new songs that I hadn't heard and songs that aren't as familiar. We danced both nights away, and enjoyed meeting people from all over. We had a ball.

Lastly, though, since were getting married in a couple of weeks... We're having our honeymoon too. We're going to Europe-- Amsterdam, Paris, and the Alps. Amsterdam is the first stop and luckily, Yonder will be there too... Jammin in the Dam. It's funny how things always work out.

Have a good Monday.

January 20, 1010

How amazing! This is my second week in a row writing. Wow, look at that.

Things are going well. Adam and I are in our pre-martial counseling weeks, and I'm learning a lot. We see now that we are gaining some tools for a healthy future. I am thankful for that.

So, Now. Okay, I told you that we live in St. Louis. It's a nice city. CITY. It's so much bigger than where I grew up. I never knew cities could seem like whole states. I mean, you drive through Wyoming and see as many people as you would on a bus in a city. There's traffic, people, and middle fingers. In Wyoming... trees and sage. It's so incredibly difficult to put a small town girl in a big city and adjust easily. I work about 10 miles from my house in the city, and some mornings it seems like farther. One thing that is great about the city is all the cultural events and live music. Although all the people I love to listen to in music visited us in Jhole. But, it's more often here in St. Louie. I guess I'm slow to adjust, but that's all I can do-- is keep trying.

Also, we're honeymooning in Europe. I am so excited about that. We are going to fly into Amsterdam-- head to Paris. We'll wrap it up in the French Alps skiing. Yes. Delightful.

I will be getting some pictures and things for the blog to show my little projects for my wedding. But, for now, I will leave you with a photo. An ultimate evening in St. Louis Summer.

St. Louis Life

Hi again. So, I definately haven't been a dedicated blogger. I really enjoy writing, but my life somtimes seems not conducive to writing a blog. However, maybe I will try this again. My facebook profile provides alot of bleeps into my life, but it isn't me explaining myself. All it is a montage of pictures. And pictures are great, but they seemingly don't express what words can.

Today is January 13, 2010. Wow, 7 years since I graduated high school, and nearly 4 since I graduated college. My life looks nothing like it did or I thought that it would from the day that I graduated high school. And, that's okay with me. I have seen the pure essence of life in these last years, and I love life.

So, here's what's next. I am getting married. And, I know I already wrote this previously, but I am so excited about things to come. I had my dress handmade, and it's gorgeous. My very talented art friend is doing our photos, so they will be one of a kind. My roommate from college and my sister(MOH)are bridesmaids. my niece-to-be, is the flower girl and nephew-to-be is the ring bearer.
I am a DIY bride, and we've got some good ideas. I will continue later....