Patchwork

I used to think of Patchwork as a quilt, particularly the kind that comes out of a hand-me-down box. We all remember the jean patchwork that Beyonce wore. And, there's colorful corduroy patchwork that one hippy culture wears. I, however, have a soft spot for brown, black, leather and heavy, mis-matched patchwork. This patchwork sewed a place in my heart. And, this is a call to these people I met on coincidence one summer night in Jackson, Wyoming. These people were wearing patchwork pants and skirts. They wore heavy, dirt-kicking, black boots and piercings. (Needless-to-say, their appearance didn't give the air that they were approachable.)

These 'kids' were out of gas looking for extra change outside on a corner. I emphasize 'kids' because I know one young girl was 17. The others were between the ages of 18-22. Two boys and two girls. They'd been touring the national parks, and this was their last stop before hitting San Francisco. They looked like they'd been traveling days upon days. And, God knows Jackson is the best place to end up. It's just indescribably beautiful and serene. My friend and I were going to the grocery, and we were already making pizza... we looked at each other, and we saw the same thing.

We were asking them to dinner.

We were asking people that we didn't know to dinner at our house.

We were inviting them into our home to eat.

And. we. did.

They arrived most graciously and promptly. And we made some of the most delicious pizza ever. I asked them about their lives and what they had been doing. Hence, I discovered all the aforesaid.

Before sharing the meal, whilst I was still preparing dinner. We offered them to shower (those who know me know I always have clean towels and blankets.) They happily accepted.

The younger of the boys, tossed our traditional pizza crust, and helped us make the pizzas. (He'd worked at a pizza joint before heading west.)

We broke bread.

I learned that the seventeen year old girl had no family. She was going to study art in San Francisco. She'd been alone awhile it seemed. Her friend didn't talk very much, but she was very appreciative of all things hospitable. And, she was verbal about that. The older guy was very cool- from San Francisco and had just been traveling around listlessly.

Now, I did not get a background of the relationships to one another or how they'd met. I just wanted to know them. I was drawn to them as a collective. One thing was obvious though, this young man was the brains. They'd camped, slept in the car, and traveled the whole summer. Jackson is where'd they had run dry. He shared some honey they had picked up along the way, and it was mellow in flavor and feeling. It was delicious and sweet.

We knew the night was coming to an end, and we swapped email addresses. We promised that if we were in each other's city we'd catch up. I never sent nor received an email. I did wish them all the best in the remainder of their travels... and again, they were most gracious of our kindnesses.

Sadly, I don't remember any of their names. And, I haven't thought of them in a long while. I was driving home from Tennessee, and their faces came up with their patchwork clothing. I thought of that night and the sweet, sweet time we shared. We gave them the bare necessities and the humblest of things: food, shower, beverage, and smiles.

I cried. I cried because it was so wonderful. I cried because I wish this was the way of the rest of the world.

I thought: I want a revolution. I want all the people who love...WHO LOVE... to love each other. I want you to love someone you don't even know.

Vintage, Baby

Isn't she darling? I am sure this is my favorite photo so far. I love it.

She's growing so fast, and I'm loving being a mom. It has completely changed my worldview, and it's an amazing experience. I have to refer you to a friend's blog because she eloquently writes her reflections of being a mom and a wife. Her recent post of 6 months reflections is here: http://alltherestofit.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/6-months-reflections/

I was in tears reading her thoughts because her voice is so profound and true. I am so thankful for Ryan in my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything at all. The waiting part for her to come was trying, and pregnancy was not a walk in the park for me. In fact, I did not like being pregnant. I love, love, love these moments now and learning about the person she is. Of course, we will shape her and direct her, but she is already a being very, very unique.

Some things I've been working on at home:

1.Gardening. We've got violas, tulips, and miniature daffodils. Herbs are to come. I'm even going to attempt Lavender-- I am deciding on starting from seed, but it won't bloom until next year. I'm saving eggshells to correct the pH of the soil. I'm going to plant some hanging baskets of greenery today, and I'm excited about that.

2. Organizing. This is something that is challenging in our apartment. We're slowly downsizing... which is great. I acquire new things and we trade spots for old items. We removed a very large ottoman from our living room and it made a huge difference. Adam finished the baby changing table, and it's soo adoreable. L is for Lenz. Here it is:

3.Updating a found ice cream parlor table: This probably won't be completed until May. But, I found a broken Ice Cream Parlor wire table and chair set! Free! I hope to paint the metal white, and the table top and seats red. I think it will look very french. Perhaps a tea party will be in order once my dear friend, Anne, arrives back in town.

4. Exercising. Wow! How I have missed this. I did not feel like doing anything exercise wise at the near end of my pregnancy. But, I have gone for a couple of jogs recently, and boy, did I miss it. 5K in May--

5.I have some mother's day gifts in mind... I'm planning on ordering the tools for this ASAP.

Relatives and Immediate Family

"Tennessee, Tennessee, there ain't no place I'd rather be, baby, won't you carry me...."

I went to Tennessee to visit my family for the week last week. It was such a sweet time, and special for me as a mother. Ryan hadn't met her grandfather, my dad, Pop. And, I was so excited about that occasion. When I pulled into Memphis, I stopped at my dad's house, and brought the little girl inside the house. He thought she was the most beautiful baby! (Yeah, that's what I think, too.)

I left there to go to my second mother's house, Beverly's and we had dinner and stayed the night. Ryan was pretty tired after our road trip, so Tuesday morning we took it easy and were slow moving. This was our date day with Pop.

We met him at his house and sat next to the wood s

tove and warmed up. Then, I had the brilliant idea to go visit my grandmother (Pop's mother), Grandmater. Ryan would meet her Great Grandmother, and I hadn't seen her in a while. She lives in a nursing home-- and since I work in a nursing home, I know how important it is to go visit. And, I'm pretty proud that I do my best to visit her when I can. It was great. I have a great photo from the visit, and my sweet 91 year old grandmother held my daugther. She cried as we left, and it just tore at my heart strings. I love her so much, and I have such good, good memories of her and growing up being close to her. I'm so blessed to have been loved by such wonderful people my entire life. Love really is all you need.

Wednesday was my much needed pampering day-- but just to prepare for this, I had lots of work to do. I pumped all night for enough mild to be gone for most of the day. I was headed to my salon for my haircut, and it went well. I felt immediately better once my hair was done. (Pregnancy hair on me was not becoming- it became super heavy and too thick.) Next... I needed to ditch the maternity jeans. Sadly, they are still the only ones that fit me, but they. are. frumpy. I'm so glad they're outta here. I found a pair of bellbottom jeans- that I love. They are so becoming and make me feel like a new woman. (For a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl- at least one pair of jeans is a necessity.)

I went to my mom's mother's house and Ryan had some special time with her other great-grandmother. Be still my heart! Ryan was so well behaved while I was gone. And, I'm starting to feel better every day. My confidence improved significantly just due to that little pampering I did for myself. Here's to losing the baby weight, and getting back into shape!

Thursday was a shopping day, and dinner date with my dad. My sister and I found some cute items, and I bought some homeware items (new pillows for our bed and sheets.) My grandmother (Moose) found some old bedding that she no longer wanted, and I got it! It's darling for Ryan when she has her own room.

I met my dad with Ryan at a historic restaurant to the Memphis Restaurant scene. Jim's Place East (known for Greek food.) I had a glass of JFJ Almond Sparkling wine and had Moussaka for my meal. It was soo decadent and flavorful. I had forgotten what eating out felt like at a nice, posh restaurant. It was a blast and a nice dinner date with my daddy.

Friday, I picked up some mature wisteria plants for my sister-in-law. And, I knew she would be so excited to have them. I headed back to Missouri with a car full. New Pillows, all of Ryan's items, new bedding, wisteria plants, a potted tulip, and potted plants... I am so thankful for my family always thinking of us and helping us in any way.

The Weekend:

This is our anniversary weekend! We've been married a year! It doesn't seem like that long ago, but we did have a baby within the year. We traveled around alittle bit, and we are very happy.

Happy Anniversary on the first day of Spring!

List of Things

1. Sunday Funday! We went to Forest Park today. The weather has been so delightfully wonderful! We decided to go for a walk with Ryan, and we used our hands free carrier. She loved it. Adam and I have both said on several occasions that we need a kite. This is on my list.

2. We went thrifting today-- too. And, I bought her first dress. It has a cherry on it, and it's 3-6 months. I am so excited to see her in it. I also found some children's books at the store, too. (I collect Children's books, and these were in my elementary library.) I loved them... do you remember Mr. Messy, or Mr. Lazy? check this out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Men

Even Adam remembered them! I am so excited to add these $.30 books to my collection.

3. I want a kaleidoscope.... I love those things.

4. My friends are visiting this week and I am so excited. Both, Noah and Anne, will be here for one day only. Thursday. I'm making homemade cranberry, walnut, and lemon scones and a breakfast dish. Also, that evening we're having smoky fondue! (it turned out great.)

5. Adam and I are building our own baby changing station... I do the painting--- Adam does the routering, cutting, jigsawing, etc.... I think it will last through all of our children. Photos... upon completion.

6. Ryan is a month old... as of yesterday! I can't believe it.

Life as I knew it.

My life now looks nothing like it did 2 years ago.

This time of the year, 2 years ago, I was living in Chile. I was making beer, wine, and whiskey in South America. I was learning spanish by speaking it and living it. We would be selling the product to the Chileans, and I would ask, "Cerveza y whiskey?" or "Vodka Kooler con pomelo o lemon?"

Back then, I was wondering if Adam would want me in his life forever. And, I was eating and preparing food that came to us from our garden or the neighbors gardens. I loved that I could ride the bike to town and call my parents, or ride to go pick figs down the street by the river. I loved NOT driving- looking at the Andes Mountains everyday-- and vacationing to Pichilemu.

Now, family is the most important thing. Obviously. We live in the city. And, although we do go camping and hiking A LOT, the

music scene probably tops the list. I've learned that living in a new place, you trade in old things that you love to do for new things one discovers that they love.

In Memphis, I loved the fact that I knew all the little places that I enjoyed to snack or hang out.

In Jackson, I loved that when I walked out any door, nature was right there. Even when I lived in an apartment complex, I could take my inflated tube and tube down Flat Creek. (And, yes, I did that.)

In Requegua, I loved being close to the earth. I worked the earth...I walked the earth. We made a bamboo room.

In St. Louis, I love being cultured. I have seen SO much music here. Carolina Chocolate Drops, Yonder, Gov't Mule, the Avett Brothers, Michael Franti and Spearhead, Jake's Leg. I just keep learning, too.

Also, we have a baby! And, here's some new photos:

Valentine's Day 2011

Adam and I have a running deal. We don't buy anything for each other on this holiday. It's totally generic to say, but we love each other everyday. (not. just. Valentine's.) And, we're pretty thoughtful about remembering just happys (as I call them) to surprise the significant other with something that says a quick 'I love you.'

This particular Valentine's day, we both had very little time to prepare ANYTHING. I did have one goal: to make a chocolate cake. I'm not a big baker, but Adam loves chocolate, and I wanted to try something simple but elegant. I also hinted to Adam that a nice dinner would be just wonderful for us to celebrate the holiday. I got my wish!

Adam prepared Crusted Salmon with Honey Mustard Sauce, Steamed Asparagus, and Garlic Mashed Potatoes. I made this cake:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (can substitute with whole wheat flour)
1 cup white or brown sugar
3 tablespoons sifted good quality cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt, optional
5 tablespoons canola oil
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup cold water
Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt; mix well. Make three deep holes in the dry mixture. Into one hole, po

ur the oil, into the next hole, pour the vinegar, and into the final hole, pour the vanilla.

2. Pour the water into the bowl, over all. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together until there aren't any more lumps and pour into an ungreased 9x9 baking pan, 2 inches deep.

3. Bake for about 30 minutes, test with a fork.

I also made a mocha icing:

1/2 small heavy whipping cream

2 Tbsp powdered sugar

1 Tbsp cocoa (I used dutch cocoa)

I beat the whipping cream til stiff peaked.

Add the other two ingredients.... VIOLA!

Winter Wonderland

Since this year has been the most snowy in the Midwest, it gets almost everyone thinking about the Spring. I have been thinking about the warm sunshine, and how I can't wait to take Ryan to the park for Twilight Tuesday music in the park, walking, and picnicking.

All this talk about the warm sunshine reminds me of a beautiful outdoor experience while I was pregnant.

I told you about our babymoon to Ozark, Arkansas for the Yonder Harvest Festival--And, while we were there, Adam and I participated in the yoga morning activity. We walked to the tent and breathed into different yoga poses. We were under the tent at the start, and Adam moved out into the grass under the sun. The sun shone upon our faces, and it felt so warm. It felt like we were harnessing the sun's energy. It was exhilarating, and we were both thankful for the day.

This festival was three days of car camping, cooking, and listening to music. We danced and played. I was 26 weeks pregnant, and we even went on a hike. It was a disaster. Ryan was in my belly dancing and grooving. Looking back, I am so happy we went.

2 weeks ago

Two weeks ago tomorrow, our little Ryan was born.

It's been a wild 2 weeks, and I've learned a lot.

There's a couple of things I want to remember forever:

1. I love baby breath.

2. I love swaddling.

3. This year has been the most snowy. I'm glad that we're snuggled in at home.

4. I'm enjoying changing Ryan's clothes, and watching her start filling them out.

5. I am in love with St. Louis Diaper Service. It makes cloth diapering a cinch, and it's not bad for the environment.

6. I love spending time with her in the morning.... she's so bright-eyed.

7. I love eating at home, and not having a sack lunch.

8. I love watching my husband hold his little girl.

A little girl!

Ryan Elizabeth Lenz was born January 27, 2011 at 12:01 p.m. She weighed 6 pounds 11 ounces and measured 20" long. She changed my life.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011, I was induced. Our surprise baby was 40.5 weeks, and time for her to arrive in the world. Adam and I received our call to arrive at the hospital, and we were to be there at 8 a.m. We got to our room, they put my IVs in, and started the pitocin. The nurses came in about every 30 minutes and increased the dose all day. Little baby was slow moving though. At about 4pm, the resident came in a broke my water. Then, I started having intense contractions. After about 2 1/2 hours of this, I was at about 4 and alittle, 80% effaced. I was given at epidural at this point. This was about 7pm. I felt super dosed after it was administered, and my blood pressure dropped. For about 6 hours, I couldn't move my left leg...

Then, labor slowed. But, it went badly. The pitocin was causing problems for baby. Our little girl wasn't tolerating it, and they had to stop it at about 11pm. An internal fetal monitor, contraction monitor, and catheter had all been placed. On top of that, I had my IVs, and blood pressure cuff attached too. And, epidural....

We tried to rest, but it became harder. The break from the pitocin had gone on for some time, and at about 2pm, the baby's heartbeat slowed... almost stopped. The nurses came in, and talked to me about what this means, and that, even though, the baby is moving, there's some cause for concern. When I was having contractions, the baby wouldn't tolerate it, and the heart rate would drop. This was a big deal, and about 5 nurses came in and discussed c-section. I was completely scared. I feared this, and I began to cry. The conversation happened twice, and I know I wanted my baby to be safe, but it is still hard to swallow. And, my baby needed to come out. While these events were occuring, my doctor was updated. He told the nurses to just let me rest, and hold the pitocin. At about 7am, they started the pitocin again. And, Dr. came into see me. The labor was continuing well from here. I rested and prayed for my little one. I prayed that he/she would be healthy and okay. I prayed for my husband while watching this to stay strong for me. I prayed because this was beyond my control.

At about 11am, I felt the baby lowering... I felt movement. I tried some practice pushing, and I pushed for about 15 minutes, and they got the doctor in. I pushed for a total of 40 minutes, and my little girl came into the world with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck 4 times. Adam saw that it was a girl-- and the doctor hurried to unravel the cord. It went fine! Although I was concerned about her, she was fine. The APGAR test came back 8-9. She was alert, and I held her first. I cried. She is so beautiful and I loved her so much already. Ryan Elizabeth was here, and I am her momma. Adam was overcome with happiness, and he was bouncing all over the room.

I have to say, Adam is my strength. He had my health and the baby's health as his main concern. He aided me in whatever I needed, and he was actively involved in the delivery of our baby. He loves our little girl.

I hadn't eaten in about 40 hours, and I was famished. I finally got to post-partum room and saw my sweet child.

Ryan Elizabeth is completely healthy. No scratches or bruising. Just a sweet baby face and the creation of my love and myself. This experience was amazing. I felt like I had changed the world. I accomplished something, and Adam felt the same.

The past few days have been challenging too. Today, Ryan is 6 days old. She's met Adam's parents, and she's met the pediatrician... She's doing just fine. I stopped taking my percocet... for obvious reasons... and, my milk came in. That HURTS!

The best thing in the world though, was walking through our door at home, and knowing we were home for good. My little girl is adjusting well, and we are trying. The nights have been difficult, but we'll adjust.

Welcome to the world, Ryan! Your parents love you!

Monday, Monday

Today is Monday. I'm 2 days away from being induced.

I went to the doctor today, and I learned that I'm 2cm dilated and 75% effaced. Baby is moving down into the right place. And, even though I'm being induced, things can still happen between now and Wednesday morning. I feel better now, though, knowing that baby is slowly helping with this induction. He/She may not enter the world on their own, but they are helping it for momma.

But, good things are happening around the house. I'm going to keep busy today. I'm planning on vacuuming and mopping our floors. A ham is baking in the oven as we speak! (And, it smells delightful.) I'll wash some clothes and tidy up a bit. We've had a bunch of snow, so our floors look coated with mud. And, I love our hardwood floors.... it'll brighten up the house for sure.

Once we returned from the doctor, I decided lunch was appropriate.

I can't get enough salads... so that's what I made. And, I splurged with Ranch dressing. It's so good with cheese.

I also whipped up a tomato basil bisque quick-like.

Carmelized onions, roasted tomatoes, and fresh basil. Tres bien.

I will keep things updated as I can!

40 weeks

Oh, yeah! We made it! But, baby is not here.

It's been an interesting week.

I worked this week, but I did have a bad day. I went to the Women's Evaluation Unit on Thursday. I was not feeling well at all. It was early Thursday, and I was already swollen. My hands and feet and legs. I had a headache already, and I was having on and off blurry vision. Not cool. They checked me out, but at the time it was kind of scary. I just didn't feel well. No signs of pre-eclampsia- but, boy, did I feel rough.

So, today is my due date. I'm looking at it right in the face, and I'm going to pass it. I'm sure. When they checked me on Thursday, I was still 1cm dilated, and 50% effaced. Ultimately, the plan is Tuesday if I haven't gone into labor, Wednesday they will induce. I'm scared about it, but I'm sure all will go well. I have faith in my doctor, and I know the hospital is number one in maternity services. Adam will be there, and family not too far away.

Yesterday was my last day at work-- that is for my maternity leave. I feel like a huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, and I'm going to enjoy this weekend thoroughly. We had a celebratory meal last night that was out-of-this-world fantastic. I hadn't had my serving of fish this week, so I decided salmon was the way to go.

I made a sweet coconut rice infused with basil, mint, and lime first. I put the herbs in the coconut milk to sit for about 45 minutes. I'd like to let it go longer, but the longer I stand the harder it gets to walk. So, I started with that. We went to the market, and I bought 10oz of farm raised salmon (I'd rather have wild, but it wasn't at Schnuck's.) It didn't smell fishy-- a good sign. I also bought:

1. Panko bread crumbs.

2. plum sauce (AKA duck sauce.)

3. green onions (scallions).

4. spring salad mix.

5. Asian vingarette.

6. lite coconut milk.

The coconut rice was started. I placed the fish on a broiler pan with aluminum foil and basted the salmon with the plum sauce. It sat for about 25 minutes, too, just resting and soaking up the sweet, tangy flavor of the sauce. I preheated the oven to broil. I made sautéed cabbage with carrots and four peppercorn pepper. Cut the cabbage as thin as possible, and heat in cast iron pan with canola oil. It turns out so flavorful and good.

Back to the Salmon:

The sauce had slipped off the filets, so I spooned it back on. I topped the sauce with scallions and panko break crumbs-- placed the filets in the oven for 10 minutes.

The spring mix salad was tossed with the Asian vinaigrette and added grated garlic and mint.

I enjoyed the meal. It was a perfect meal to celebrate with my husband. We rented some movies, and stayed in. Here's to my growing family!

Menu:

Broiled Asian Salmon with Plum Sauce

Basil and Mint-Infused Coconut rice

Sautéed Cabbage with 4 peppercorns

And

A Spring Salad mix with Asian Vinaigrette.

A Day in the Life

The last 3 weeks I've probably heard everyday at work this question:

"Are you still here?"

I smile and say, "yep."

Every night I go to be early... rise at about 6:40a.m. I make my lunch, my morning coffee/cocoa, and hop in the car. I head to work and being as big as I am now, I have some trouble moving myself out of our sweet Volvo when I arrive at work. I waddle around all day. Walking up and down halls and in and out of offices, I wear myself out. Then, I get home. I take my shoes off, and my sweet husband caters to most of my needs. I've written here how uncomfortable I am, but this is the hardest physical feat I've ever endured.

So, today I'm 39 weeks. The baby is likely the main thing on my mind most of the time. I'm preoccupied. I have baby brain. I'm wondering when this little one is going to grace us with his/her presence and how it's going to feel to hold my baby. I'm excited and nervous and scared. It's awesome.

39 weeks, and I've read that it could go longer than 40 weeks... jeez. I guess I'm just going to go into spontaneous labor. I've had several BH contractions... and some pains that I think are contractions. Nothing official though. No visits to the WEU, no "signs" if labor. I'm assuming that it will all happen on it's own. I guess we'll just wait and see.

Our house looks great. Besides my relationship with my husband, it's something I'm really proud of. We've got food galore. It's clean and posh. Nice environment to welcome a new bundle. 1421 Cutter is ready.

So, here's to another week. We'll see the doc Tuesday, and see what he says.

Night.

37 weeks 6 days

It's Friday! Thank goodness for that.
It's been several weeks since I have written. Our computer has a little charging problem, so I'm having to use it sparingly.
But, here's an update:

Last week at 36 weeks, I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. All my labs came back excellent except my iron. I have low iron, and it's making me tired! Also, we're small for gestation age, but I'm not worried since I've gained 48 pounds. Yes, 48. That does not make me happy, but we'll lose it.

Week 37: No change. BLAH! I'm so ready. Feeling like crap most of the time is not fun. And, I've developed a few small stretch marks. Ugh. I am ready to meet my baby, but he/she isn't ready to meet me or his/her papa.

We did have a sweet surprise couple's shower hosted by my sisters in law and mother in law... and my mom and sister were there! We recieved some cute, cute items. And, we're more prepared than ever.

I will try to post a picture of our baby area. It's rather darling, AND gender neutral! Yippee for not knowing the sex! We did, however, do the ring test. It said boy..... I guess we'll see if it was correct.

Wish me luck these next 2 weeks. I feel like I might not make it.

Brit

34 Weeks

Oh boy. I'm so uncomfortable. I eat... I'm uncomfortable. I sleep- uncomfortable. I sit- uncomfortable. It's 3 am now, and I can't sleep.

Even though I can't sleep, I am watching our first winter snow fall in St. Louis. And, I miss the snow from Wyoming. It's so beautiful. It just falls so quietly and morphs all the dark, dingy roads and roofs to brilliant white. My baby and I have just shared our first snow. And, even though he/she isn't outside... the stillness I feel is awe-inspiring.

I have 6 weeks left. Adam and I are getting excited talking about our family and the new changes that we're going to see. I'm so thankful for him. He's going to be such an amazing father, and be so loving to his child. Keeping me going is not knowing the gender. Either way, we will be so thrilled- but, it's like the light at the end of the tunnel. It definitely gives me something to look forward. Boy or Girl, we'll love 'em so very much.

I'm going to make my first purchases for "little one" today. I need a crib sheet and some onesies. We have one other purchase-- the car seat! Can't get the little one home without it.

So, Christmas is coming... I do love Christmas. It's our first married christmas, and I'm pregnant. That's a pretty wonderful gift, if you ask me. And, yes, it's been a tumultuous journey, but I know it will be worth it.

On to other things... Our house is just becoming more and more lovely. We have a fire most days to keep us warm. And, I think I have been nesting- washing walls, curtains, sheets, and dusting. We have so much to be thankful. We are happily behind the times, and we have such sweet moments. I am so in love with my husband and my child-- and our life. It's modest but happy.

Aw, Go On and Get All Domestic

Thinking is something I have been doing. Sometimes that is enough to get me into trouble. I think too much and over-analyze, and then where are am I? Probably worse off than I was before.... This isn't the point, though.

I appreciate my journey thus far. College was such a weird surreal experience. I didn't learn where I was most comfortable until my senior year of that 4 year blip in my life. I made my little private dorm room my own. I started cooking in our bare minimum kitchen. I remember making vegetable cream cheese for my bagels, and my first pot roast on my own. I enjoyed the process. I bought my first teapot (We still use now), and I tried my best to stop using the microwave. By the time graduation came, I was eating so very healthy-- learning alternative dishes from my vegetarian roommate. They were super flavorful and delicious.

My bedroom was my work space and my safe spot. I had the things I love surround me and remind me of the beautiful world and works around me. And, now I see how those practices that I learned that last year of college stuck.

I moved to Wyoming-- packed all my personal belongings in the back of my car and left.

I lived again in a shared dorm room. I moved from there to a shared loft (even less privacy.) After nearly a year more of this community living, I finally shared an apartment with my future-to-be husband. We lived there about 6 months. And, even though I had my safe spot-- I knew it was to change again soon. My mantra for a short time was, "Don't get too comfortable, cause once I do, I know it'll change." And, it did.

Memphis was my destination for about 3 months before leaving for a new adventure in Chile... Guess how many times I moved while I lived there? 4 times. 4 times in 3 months. Yeah, that was fun.

I moved to Chile... and back to the states 6 weeks later. That was even more fun.

Then, I found a 104 year old Century home in Dogtown, St. Louis, Missouri. It's delightful. It's home, and I have so much fun cooking, playing, gardening, creating, and cleaning. It's home. And, yes, I will go on and get all domestic.

Holidays, Birthday, and Another Week

This post I'm going to have to start today and go backward.

Today I hit 33 weeks! I'm feeling really good lately... getting a little uncomfortable, but I'm still just plugging along. The gender is still a surprise, and it's getting harder to wait to find out. I have no idea if it is a boy or a girl. We went to the doctor, November 30, and we're still doing good.

Happy Birthday to me! I turned 26 yesterday! We celebrated by eating Thai food at Pho Grand. We also had ice cream at home and lounged after dinner. It was so sweet. My husband gave me a sweet card that made me cry- and a few other gifts, but he, alone, made my day special. I wouldn't want to have spent it with any other person than him.

The work week was pretty uninteresting, but Thanksgiving was great. We went to Tennessee-- picked up a whole bunch of stuff for 'baby', and hung out with my whole family. It was a pleasure to see my family and, also, a pleasure to return back home. We got the crib set up, the chifforobe ready for onezies, and we need just a few more items.

Lastly, we're prepping for CHRISTMAS! Pictures of our tree soon. Happy Holidays all!

30 weeks, Baby!

I saw a good friend of mine yesterday! Jordan came to St. Louis from her hometown of Cape Girardeau, Missouri. We met in Wyoming the summer that I moved cross-country and worked at Signal Mountain Lodge. After all our adventures, we're here in St. Louis, Missouri hanging out. We had a nice visit. Our lives are so different now. She's off again back to the wonderful wyoming wonderland, and we're having a baby!!

So, I hit the 30 week mark yesterday. The baby and I went to the doctor on Thursday, and everything is good! Glucose level is really good. Iron is good too. I only gained .5 lbs in 2 weeks, and we're up to 32 pounds. Our goal is to do that every 2 weeks now. I don't know how well that is going to go with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up.

Speaking of which, I am so excited about Thanksgiving. I get to see my family. And, we're picking up the crib and high chair. I am thrilled because it's been a while since I've seen my family, and I start to miss them.

Lastly, we finished our baby classes. It was informational, but I am guessing this is one of those things you have to experience before you know what it's like. Truthfully, I am scared. I have faith that all will go well, and we'll have a healthy baby come that special day. As for right now, I am enjoying spending time with Adam-- just us.

A Sweet Memory

We've been busy! October 14-16, 2010 Adam, Noah, and I spent 3 nights in Ozark, Arkansas under the harvest moon. We played in the sunshine and listened to amazing music from groups like Yonder Mountain String Band, Leftover Salmon, Brett Dennen, Infamous Stringdusters, 1 oz jig, and Keller Williams. The weekend was just so wonderful. Lucky for us, it didn't end there either.

With fall in St. Louis, Twilight Tuesday is free music in the park, and the last event of the season was Tuesday after we returned home. Wednesday, we went to see a special musical group at the Sheldon next to the Fabulous Fox Theatre. Thursday we started our baby classes... the sign that the time is coming soon that we will meet our baby. Invited to an Art Gala in St. Charles, Missouri, we crossed the Missouri Ocean, and saw several Baseball hall of fame members commemorate special sports artists that document their lives. It was a magical week. I spent it nearly stress-free with lovely husband.

Sunday: My dearest and I visited Forest Park for a walk. The leaves are changing yellows, oranges, fire reds, and soon I know that winter will be here. We carved pumpkins, and they are festive.

During these events, I remembered a sweet time in Chile that I wanted to write down. Adam and I were in Pichilemu. We'd taken a carriage ride into town from our cabana to go eat dinner. Before we caught our ride, we prepared wood for a fire on the beach underneath the stars. we hit the town, and sadly, I don't remember the meal we ate or what the surroundings were like. I remember Adam confiding in me with his thoughts and feelings and memories. I remember feeling so elated and overwhelmed with happiness because I was that special someone. Each time I think of this night, it returns to me that it was Valentine's Day, and without gifts for one another, my future husband gave me the moon, the stars, the ocean, all at once. If he could have lassoed the moon, he would've. That moment in my life is irreplaceable and unmatched. What's more beautiful is the fact that as simple as that moment was, it is the essence of life. The essence of my life.

The big 2-5

Saturday is my favorite day of the week. I have no impending dread of the next day, and I have the entire weekend to spend as I choose. I'm so thankful for that today.

This weekend is particularly special. Not really, but I am 25 years old. 25

and 25 weeks along. My mom was 25 when she became pregnant with me, and 26 when she had me. The same as me. This week (24) has been particularly difficult for me. I wore myself a little too thin probably did too much, and I'm just exhausted. We're deciding on purchasing a house... very stressful. I'm spent over it. I can't make a decision about it-- do I want it... do I not? We're going to be broke after we buy it. I'm going to release my mind from it this weekend. They can't eat me, they can't kill me, and they can't harass me. I'm going to let it be.

I also threw a baby shower for my sister-in-law, and it was beautiful. It was a challenge, though, for me. It was so nice and we had great weather for it too. I made all the food; I decorated; I cleaned; I love it.

I will try to add more photos of the tea party table too... It stepped straight out of an Antropology magazine-- lace and tissue paper, white and light... It is totally unique.

My husband was sweet enough to help me- and I received sweet notes for the hard work that we put into it. It's nice to be appreciated.

Half. Way. Mark.

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. I've thrown up... a lot. I've slept... alot. And, I've had some moody, crying, hormonal spells. I will not say that these have been the high points in the pregnancy. But, I will tell you that sharing the ultrasounds and having Adam notice my changing body for good have been very sweet and rewarding.

I've been very happy with our situation, although, maybe in comparison to others, it's not what they would do. We live modestly and very simply. We live a virtuous life.

We have a small, cute, clean apartment with plenty of room to make our little changing life work. We save our money... we won't be buying state of the art cribs or brand name clothes that the baby will grow out of in a few months. It's the fact that my husband and I will love our child... we will love each other, and we will provide the necessities and lovely toys for years to come. My husband and I will shape a life that will understand love... the greatest motivator and joy in the the whole world.